Monday, 6 June 2011

Arse

God, today..what a day! a culmination of no real holiday in 5 years and no day of in 38 days has led to me being, possibly the most disappointed i have been with myself in a long long long long time... under prepared, is not me, nervous is not me...gah! looking back i am cringing still!


The realisation hurts more, the fact that maybe i am not as good as my job as i thought i may be, the one thing i hold on to , the one thing i hold dear, the one thing that is mine, just for me...it may not be my thing any longer.


I cannot deny my confidence has not taken a massive hit..it has, i cannot deny that it may be the catalyst for a big change...it is


I am aware how pathetic and dramatic i sound..that is not my intention, i just need a change, to pull myself together..i am 35, a grown woman, yet i still feel like a twenteen, i still act as though the world is my oyster...a part of it still is, but sadly not the whole thing....but thats part of growning up isn't it?, its life, i am alive and there is not one single part of this that makes me sad..

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

21 + 14

Today is my birthday, i am 21 +14 ..not sure i'm ready to say the actual age, i honestly still feel about 20, time has flown and it feels like i'm trying to cling onto, dig my nails in and try to slow it down. I don't mean the physical effects of time, i mean that it feels like i have not achieved anything yet, there is still much to do and experience and lets not get started on the whole marriage/children thing..THE PRESSURE.


That aside, its been an interesting birthday, i'm used to birthdays passing without notice but today i was incredibly touched to receive so many message via facebook and twitter..a whopping 192 in total, impossible to reply to them all (well, i could but i'm sure my employer would have words with me) but rest assured that each and everyone made me smile.


I worked today and this evening, although i had planned to go out i just didn't feel like it, its a busy busy month and the opportunity of a night in was too much to pass on, thats incredibly pathetic i know, but a full month without a day off and being 21 +14 does that to a girl.


My gifts to myself today were a gorgeous silver ring shaped like a fern leaf and a years membership to the gym, turning 21 + 14 has led me to think that perhaps i should do more of exercise stuff, after all, looping shopping centres and doing the running man on a Saturday night, will not keep a woman fit forever..will they? WILL THEY? god, i wish they would.


So, the year ahead i intend to make changes, physical ones, emotional ones..somethings got to give and being 21 +14 means i need to grow up, take more care, not be so free with my thoughts and feelings and generally be a woman, a real life grown up woman...a 35 year old woman





Friday, 25 March 2011

Long Time no Blog

Sorry Sorry Sorry

I will get better at this i promise!!

Until i do....sorry

x

Friday, 18 February 2011

Friends - some you win, some you lose

Sometimes things happen in your life that you cant quite fathom out. One of these things is when a friend, or someone you thought a friend decides that you are no longer.

Recently, i realised with great sadness that someone i had a closeness with decided they were too busy to have me in their life any longer, they told me the very words . Now, as a friend, being a friend to others and having them myself i cannot understand this -friends are unconditional, we do not set boundaries, we make time for each other isn't that the point?

Anyway, there is nothing i can do about this, so, for anyone who has forsaken a friend for their career, i say this, I hope your job can give you advice when you need it, cheer you up when you need it, listen to you when you need it, do favours for you when you need them, console you when you need it..cherish your friends, for they are the ones who will stick by you when you need it most..not your pay check

Hold Up!!

In my infinite wisdom stupidity i've agreed to take part in Norfolk Hold Up to raise funds for Norfolk Hospice Tapping House, a facility in Norfolk who  help patients, carers and families living with cancer or other life-limiting illnesses, by providing timely and professional care and much needed support.


So, to help them raise some much needed cash i am being thrown in the cells for a day..and i need you good people to help me!

Stand by your phones on 2nd

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME THERE!!

Saturday, 1 January 2011

The Twitterati

Ten (of many) lovely Twitter people who have touched me in one way or another in 2010 (not in THAT way you pervert)


@lingoliz
@davidblackm0re
@womaninblack
@paulsaxton
@Jamierothwell
@brays_cottage
@IK75
@lostinnorfolk
@snortlecomedy 
@stuartflatt


and @Jesus_M_Christ ..he touched me too :) :) 

New things, Old Things, Dancing, Retail and Wings!

A new year, hooray!! to be honest, I'm glad to see the end of 2010, it had its moments and all but on the whole it was not my finest to date. Anyway, i refuse to moan and winge about it so onwards and upwards, new challenges beckon and I cannot wait!


In a few days i head back to work, into my old jobs and one new one, a challenging one at that. Of course, me being me this thrills me, knowing there are challenges ahead ranks highly on the list of things that press my buttons when accepting a job (that and variation). So, having 2.5 other jobs already, I'm under no illusion that the forthcoming months will be hard, scheduling my time will be more important than ever but I'm ready for it..three challenging jobs, a whirlwind of Events, PR, Production, Marketing, Talking, Listening, Creating, Networking, Organising, Reading, Learning and more..I've some great projects and clients to work with this year, some new, some existing..all exciting, I have my new notebook and diary waiting to go with me. It's geeky i know but i LOVE a new notebook, starting afresh with new one always makes me feel so organised and tidy of mind. 


The notebook gets carried everywhere i go, even to the bedside, and in it go all my notes and ideas and plans, from there they go into my laptop which then gets backed up regularly (once bitten twice shy, hence the perhaps overly cautious nature!)...i cannot begin to explain the feeling when your laptop gives up on you, taking your work with it to the grave!


So, the new job, heading up marketing and events for a shopping centre, is a slight change of direction for me, most of my work events/PR work tends to be more arts led..however, I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'm staying with the civic job too for a few more months to head up their events and PR for 2011, lots of sponsorship and funding work to do there to ensure a full schedule of events and facilities for the town, I'll also be at at Lingo where 2011 see's an exciting schedule of work plus the relaunch of DownhamWeb. I'll also be with the Fairyland Trust helping organise our 2011 Fairy Fair - and our 10th birthday, i have a full year of PR to plan, wings to get into stores and again, I'll be on the funding trail..this year, we need it more than ever.


Due to work, the past few years, i have forgone holidays and hobbies in order to focus on it solely, but this year, i fully intend to start both again, i think i may need a clone..and some luck!

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Apologies

That last blog was kind of gushy - not my usual style, however..at the time it was needed

Normal service will resume soon :)

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Farewell 2010

The past 4 weeks i've spent working on projects for 2011, indeed even as far ahead as December already..this is nothing new, it is quite the norm for me, I always seem to be a good 6 months ahead of myself, I dont honestly know if this is a good thing or not, either way, i always seem to be looking forward, not having the time to look back so much.

This week i rectified that, like some kind of warped version of the Christmas Carol I reflected on the year past. To be totally honest, its been a pig! I dont say that lightly, i can deal with stress with the best of them but 2010 has been a particularly unkind year.

Starting the year off with a redundancy was not the best of starts, following that with money worries from not working, a health scare and heartache, plus sprinkling in burst water pipes, collapsing ceilings, broken cars and various other domestic nightmares, 2010 has taken me to corners of my mind i dont really want to re-visit anytime soon.

Don't get me wrong, i am not "woe is me-ing", far from it,i am aware of the billions of people who have life much worse than i do, i keep them in mind constantly..i remind myself how lucky i am.

2010 led me to people who have made me smile, laugh like a drain and love without boundries, i've also met people who have truly hurt me, causing me heartache..yet, despite that, its these people who have also helped make me who i am, testing my boundaries and my resiliance.. i am 34 years old and i am finally getting to know myself, these negetive events have led me to learn incredibly valuable lessons about life and myself.

The me i have discovered is a woman who no matter what drags me down, i will haul myself up from my boots, dust my self down, smile and carry on...the smile is important, perhaps THE most important part, its a deflective tool which enhances my grit and determination and hides my fear - it is my weapon of choice if you will.. 2011, take this as your warning, 2010 tried to beat me -it did not, and neither will you, you can try, but i'll smile and carry on!



Work as if it was your  first day.  Forgive as soon as possible.  Love without boundaries.  Laugh without control and never stop smiling.

Friday, 26 November 2010

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas - News from Fairyland

The nights are long and dark and Fairyland Trust workshops have wound down for the year, although the office remains busy and even though its almost 6 months away now is still a busy time.

So, we are two meetings in and are beginning to flesh out the bones of the main fair. This year will be our 10th birthday So you can expect to see some old favourites as well as some new activities and surprises... there's a lot of work to do yet but we will keep you posted.

Following our Halloween event we are now getting everything back into stores for the winter, giving them a good tidy and where needed, we clean, we fix and we mend. 

Some of you may only know us for out main fairs, but our workshops also head all over the country, so whether we are organising our workshops for other events or hosting our own events we're taking bookings, dealing with contracts, arranging volunteers, packing the van, setting up and running the workshops, promoting them, fixing mending and making, fund-raising - that is just the tip of the iceberg. All of this takes a lot of work, there is never a real quiet time for us, there is ALWAYS something to do.

Over the next week or so our volunteers can be found at at both the Downham Market light switch on (28th 10-5pm) and at Wells Christmas tide on 4th December raising some much much needed funds....we hope to see you there!

Below you will find a copy of our most recent supporters update. If you would like to join our mailing list, you can do so simply by emailing newsletter@fairylandtrust.org

Back soon


Update 26.11.10

Snow!...it can only mean one thing, yep its just 29 days until Christmas and with that in mind we wanted to give you, our lovely Fairyland supporters the first chance to take advantage of our special Christmas offer.

From today until the end of December we are have a Christmas sale on our official Fairyland Merchandise. Why not take a look at our online shop and pick up some of our innovative workshop kits...they make the perfect stocking filler. Or, why not get your hands on one of our Limited Edition Cooking for Trolls aprons – perfect for wearing whilst cooking Christmas lunch this year!

For the next few weeks, or whilst stocks last, all items marked £7.50 will be just £5.00, £10.00 kits are reduced to £7.50 and CIT Aprons just £7.50 To visit the store and take advantage of the exclusive offer, simply click here http://bit.ly/eXvnaF *

Or, for an alternative gift this Christmas, why not give the gift of Fairyland and join our supporter’s scheme. For just £36 a year our supporters scheme helps up continue the charities work, you also receive a quarterly illustrated newsletter, a FREE workshop kit and priority booking for events. 

Supporting the Fairyland Trust makes a magical difference to us and the work we do, to join, simply click the following link, complete the supporters form, send it back to us and we’ll do the resthttp://bit.ly/dnON34

Now for the slushy bit, on a final note for the year we’d like to say a huge thank you for continuing to support us and our work. We receive no government funding so support from people such as yourself means a great deal.

Have a wonderful Christmas; we’ll see you in the New Year with more details of our 2011 events....Don’t forget to leave a little something under the tree for the fairies and a little something out for the birds.

Abbie

Monday, 4 October 2010

Milestone - What i've learnt in 6000 tweets

What I’ve learnt in 6000 tweets – By Abigail Panks, aged 34.5 years old

Ok, I’ll hold my hands up, I was one of those people who used to say– urg, Twitter, a load of people talking about what they had for breakfast, no, not for me thanks.

On the 24th August 2009, I finally caved in, I threw down my preconceptions, signed up and tweeted for the first time – I cannot remember what I said BUT, I do know that basically I was hooked from the word go...Twitter satisfied me in the respect that I could not only vocalise exactly what was on my mind instantly, I liked (and continue to) that no matter what drivel I wrote no-one judged my eccentric ways, it also satisfied the voyeur in me...lets face it, is there anyone in the twitterverse who doesn't want to know what the likes of Stephen Fry and Jonathan Ross are up to?

To those people who don’t use twitter it’s hard to explain the draw, but, it’s kind of like being in a room full of people that you can leave and rejoin, picking up the conversation at anytime, i often find myself drifting from group to group, talking about everything and anything from politics, to pirates (which I do, frequently), toilet humour to techy thoughts.

My non Twitter friends often ask why I do it, what do I get from it, isn’t it a bit weird? In short, No, it isn’t weird and in terms of gain well, during these 6000 tweets I have vocalised, commented, quoted and on occasion ranted, it’s been the source of much much laughter, one cause of tears, its brought me friends (yes real ones that i have gone on to meet in the real world), its strengthened existing friendships, enhanced business networks and its even landed me work.

So, in short, I can confidently say that Twitter has enhanced my life, yes, that may sound incredibly dramatic and sentimental but it has...Yes, there are times when it causes problems with the OH, for example when I am tweeting constantly during dinner, or the time I was caught tweeting during our Nieces christening (terrible I know) but it is now very much a part of who i am.

So In conclusion 6000 tweets has taught me this: Twitter – I Love you, and for the record, no one has ever told me what they had for breakfast!

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Angels, Arbuckles and all things Ace!

Well, what a week..i mean that in a good way, in fact, the best way!

Its been busy busy busy with work, for those that dont know my working life is split 4 ways, this, at times can be difficult, but most of the time, like this week, it is incredibly fulfilling!

So, the start of the week (and most weeks) I can be found at Lingo this is always a fun, creative and lively environment to be and I pretty much have a smile on my face the whole time I'm here. LingoLiz is fast becoming a kindred spirit and partner in crime. Anyway, this week work was completed and made live for another one of our lovely clients Arbuckles The website has subsequently received press coverage, been Lingo promoted and custom facebooked..client happy so all in all a job well done..i like this!

Other things from Lingo this week; well it has been a real mixed bag but some highlights include working with the amazing Kymberlee Jay from Scoobot Dance on PR for her forthcoming Street Dance classes. Kym is an incredibly talented dancer and Nike athlete who has featured in Madonna videos "Hung Up" and "Sorry", she also choreographed Cheryl Cole for the ITV show "Passions of Girls Aloud" which saw CC head to the states to persue her dream of becoming a street dancer...anyway, I'm really enjoying working with Kym and personally cannot wait to take part in the classes too *nervous face* i fear i will not be an easy student...the poor brave girl!

So, other stuff from this week includes development of Custom Facebook Pages as well as our Social Media Angels project. Also some design work for the ever- lovely James from Shining Tree . So the rest of my working week was made up of 3/4 days as an event manager and then freelance PR/event work and a bit more Lingo-ing. Over the past few days this has led me to deal with a lot of politics, a lot of paperwork a lot of creative planning and a whole lot of Pumpkins..all interesting in their own way!


Anyway, its the weekend now and aside from the farce which saw me sitting on my doorstep for hours awaiting a locksmith, so far so good! Weekends are something I definitely need to get back into the habit of taking, all work and no play etc..you know the rest.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Arrrrrrrrgg

Arrrrrrrrgg (and i mean that in the least piratey way) what a day!

Monday, 6 September 2010

Monday Monday

I kind of feel like i've approached monday in the manner of someone being fired from a cannon, its now 10.30pm and i've finally stopped working for the day. Relaxing by reading some magazines online (no, not *that* kind) i found the following article in PR Week  which considering i work the hours i do, in the industry i do, is somewhat depressing..i've never understood the wage gap, can anyone enlighten me?

Anyway, regardless of my moaning, its been generally a good day, caught up with clients, had a good board meeting for the charity and finsihed up the day with Lingo Liz. Each time i visit the studio i get more and more excited about projects and ideas ..i can't wait to get stuck in properly, if only she could pronounce Nuggit properly!

Celebrations, ale and carnivals

So after a hectic weekend in Leicester visiting the family and co, my feet are firmly back on Norfolk soil.

The weekend kicked off with the brother in laws (three of)  hauling me down the pub to try various ales, now, as i am a fully paid up member of CAMRA i see this as my duty to test each and everyone on offer or until i fall over, which ever comes first..in this case i managed to get through them all without incident, although I'm not entirely sure it was my wisest move attending a carnival bright and early the following morning. I can confirm, greasy food stalls, bright colour and diesel generators does not ease hangovers!

The weekend culminated with a family gathering celebrating the outlaws fifty years of marriage, in this instance it was immediate family only, i do love being part of a family so large that an intimate dinner is a minimum of 20 people! It was a night full of laughter, joy and reminiscing and a couple of tears on my part, caused only when one of my brother in laws produced a huge bouquet of yellow roses for the celebrating couple and a card which read "from your boys, your girls and your babies" i guess after 50 years of whatever life throws at you, those are the only things that truly matter.

Oh, in case you are wondering, the key to a long and (relatively ) happy marriage is give & take..that and clearing off down the trains when the wife is having a rant!

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Newbie-ness

Oooh look, my first blog (albeit just a little one for now) 

If you are reading this then i will warn you know, i tend to talk a lot. Whether it be work, or play or whatever my cake of the day has been (yes, i have a cake every day, sometimes two - today it was a belgian bun!).

Things i tend to talk about, often at length include PR, event management, cake, wine, The Fairyland Trust a conservation charity of which i am on the management team, capes, communications, music, pirates and Lambrettas..its an eclectic mix, but hopefully one you may find interesting.

So, after a heavy week in my other events job, tomorrow see's a new chapter of my life start, at 9am i will be hammering on the door of Lingo Design for my first day with them, excited is an understatement, they are a brilliant company and i cannot wait to be part of their team..i only hope they can cope with my terrible jokes!